Death, Heaven, and Angels!
A True Story of Dr. Mary Neal's Spiritual Journey
from Death to Life Again*
Margaret Gayle
When Dr. Mary Neal realized she was pinned in a waterfall, trapped in her kayak, lodged beneath a second up-sided kayak in the Fuy River in the Lake District of Chili, her thoughts went to her husband and four young children. In that moment she did what she had always done—she reached for God and asked for his intervention. But she did not demand his rescue. She knew that God loved her and her only desire was that God’s will be done.
She explains, “The moment I turned to Him, I was overcome with an absolute feeling of calm, peace, and of the very physical sensation of being held in someone’s arms while being stroked and comforted. I knew with certainty that I was being held by Jesus, and he took me through a short review of my life. I was shown events in my life, not in isolation, but in the context of their unseen ripple effects. I was able to see clearly that every action, every decision, and every human interaction impacts the bigger world in far more significant ways than we can ever appreciate.”
When Mary no longer tried to breathe, she assumed she would die. She was profoundly reassured that, even if she died, her husband and children would be okay. As she waited under water, she began to sense a feeling of boredom. She was ready to get on with the journey, whatever that may be.
Rescued!
While Mary was experiencing comfort, peace, and boredom, her companions were frantically trying to dislodge her boat. Nothing worked. They tried again and again to move the boat, but it was stuck—really stuck. As they acknowledged their helplessness and only God’s intervention would make a difference, time shifted and God began to take control. With something like a sonic boom, the force of the current ripped off Mary’s life jacket and helmet, and sucked her out of the boat and down the river. As an orthopaedic surgeon, she analyzed the sensation of knee bones breaking and ligaments tearing, and yet she felt no pain.
Her body was dragged to the rocky river bank and systematic, standard steps of resuscitation were begun. Eleven to fourteen minutes had passed since the beginning of the rescue. Experienced members of the kayak team administered CPR, while praying and calling, “Mary, you cannot leave us! We know you are here. Come back! Please, take a breath!”
After what seemed like an eternity, Mary began to breathe.
A Journey to Heaven and Back
While under water, Mary felt curiously blissful. She sensed her outer layer of life was shaken off and her soul was free. She felt herself rising up and out of the river and being greeted by fifteen to twenty souls who welcomed her with joy. Though she couldn’t identify each individual by name, she knew each of them well. She knew they were sent to guide her across the divide of time and dimension that separates this world from God. She experienced an explosion of love and joy in their absolute, unadulterated essence—exponentially more colorful and intense than anything she had experienced on earth, though she had known intense love for her husband and children.
Mary recounts her journey this way: “My companions and I began to glide along a path, and I knew that I was going home—my eternal home. I felt my soul being pulled down a path that led to a great and brilliant hall. I absorbed its radiance and felt the pure, complete, and utterly unconditional love that emanated from the hall. It was the most beautiful and alluring thing I had ever seen or experienced. I felt ready to enter the hall and was filled with an intense longing to be reunited with God.”
There was, however, one notable obstacle to Mary’s entering the hall: Her kayaking companions on shore kept beckoning her to come back and take a breath. She felt somewhat irritated by their repeated calling, but she knew they didn’t understand what was happening. When she and her spirit companions arrived at the entrance to the hall, an oppressive atmosphere of sadness descended upon her.
She explains, “They turned to me and explained that it was not my time to enter the hall; I had not completed my journey on earth, had more work to do, and must return to my body. I protested but was given several reasons for my return. I gave these heavenly beings one last, longing glance before I lay down and was reunited with my body.”
Prayer Power
Drifting back and forth between this world and the world she left behind, Mary—with splints on both legs and escorted by her doctor husband Bill— survived the flight back to her home and hospital in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. The preliminary evaluation showed an advanced pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome—swelling of the lung tissue which interferes with the ability to exchange oxygen, and often leads to death. The internist told Bill that she likely would not make it through the night.
While Mary was struggling for survival, others were lifting her to the Lord in prayer. They prayed intensely, passionately, and specifically for God’s grace to envelope them. By early morning, Mary’s vital signs stabilized. She had made it through the night— God had answered their prayers!
Heavenly Visitors
As she lay in her hospital bed, she began to have “conversations” with an angel (or someone whom she believed was sent from God). This angel was sitting on a nearby rock and giving her wisdom, answering her questions about life. Even before her boating accident, she did not believe in luck or coincidence. She believed that God has a hand in things and what happens is part of his plan. She was desperately trying to make sense of what had happened to her.
In her book To Heaven and Back, Mary states that, as a result of these “visitations,” she came to believe that “There are angels all around us every day of our lives. Angels are spirit beings (mentioned more than 250 times in both Old and New Testament) who appear as creatures, events, and/ or humans. They care for, protect, and guide God’s people, frequently intervening or bringing a message to people from God. They are the ones orchestrating the ‘coincidences’ that occur so commonly in our lives.”
Mary notes that most theologians agree that angels live among us according to God’s will, not our own. They often expose us to, or push us into a situation that will force our redirection. “Of course, we are not really forced; rather, as we approach the fork in our road, we make a choice to turn left or turn right. Every choice we make today affects the choices we face tomorrow. Even the most terrible circumstances and events can stimulate great change in individuals and/or societies. Without observing cruelty, we would not be moved to compassion. Without personal trials, we would not develop patience or faithfulness. It is the recognition that our earthly concerns matter little when compared to life eternal that allows us to know joy in the midst of sorrow and worry.”
Recovery of Purpose
As Mary’s physical condition became one of recovery rather than survival, she became more fully absorbed back into the reality of this world. Her ties with God’s world became less palpable until she was no longer able to pass between worlds or have conversations with angels. Her medical condition improved and her orthopaedic partners (including her husband) were able to agree upon a treatment plan. She began the first of several operations to surgically repair her various injuries. It was only at this time that she began to feel pain.
After a month in the hospital, Mary was able to return home, but the euphoria of visiting heaven was gone, replaced by the tedium of each day and the continued disbelief that she had been sent back to earth. She had both legs in solid casts, extending from her groin to her toes. She wasn’t able to move around by herself, although she could stand upright on her own with a walker if someone first lifted her up. Otherwise, she was wheelchair-bound. Scott, a strong, nurturing, and always cheerful nurse’s aide from the hospital whom Bill had contracted, moved her from room to room to find the sunshine, washed her hair, made her lunch, and sat with her. Still, she languished.
Mary writes: “It took me more than a year to finally accept that not only had I been sent back to earth, but that I had work left to do. I was part of a family that I dearly loved, and I finally accepted that I’d better get on with my life and make the most of it."
Messengers
During the first month after Mary returned home, her stepmother called to relay the news that her father was on his death bed, and she had made the decision to remove his external life support. Mary immediately contacted her father’s attending physician and pleaded with him to maintain the life support until she and her siblings could arrive. Sitting alone in the hospital room with her father’s pale and shrunken body, Mary’s emotions were mixed. She felt joy for him—for his reunion with God—but sad that she had never had the opportunity to tell him ofher recent experiences in heaven. It would have given him a glimpse of the great joy awaiting his arrival.
Not long after returning from her father’s funeral, Mary’s mother came to help care for her and the children. When a phone call came telling them that Mary’s stepfather, George, had been hospitalized with pneumonia, Mary felt that she should return with her mother. She and her stepfather were extremely close and she knew if he should die without her being there, she would be devastated. Over morning coffee, Mary and her mother pondered the issue of her traveling the distance to North Carolina in her state of disability. As they talked, a great grey owl swooped down and landed on the deck railing adjacent to the breakfast area. The great grey owl settled onto a nearby post and simply stared insistently. Mary felt the bird clearly was saying something to her, and she paid attention. She felt the owl was giving her guidance, telling her that she should go with her mother.
When Mary and her mother arrived at the hospital the following morning, George had taken a turn for the worse and his organs were failing. God was calling to him, and they knew his remaining time on earth was short.They expressed their deep love for George and gave him permission to leave. Then they held each other as his spirit peacefully left this world.
Arriving back home at Jackson Hole, Mary saw the great grey owl had landed once again on a post within arm’s reach. Its presence reminded her of God’s love, that he directs our steps, and is always available to us. She believes that God’s messengers are everywhere and come to us in the forms that we can and will accept. Always, they want very much for us to follow the path that has been laid out for us by God.
God’s Guiding Presence
The accident in Chile happened in January, 1999, and by 2009 Mary felt she had lived up to God’s expectations for her life, and she felt content. Her husband was healthy, her three younger children were active, happy, and blossoming into wonderful young people, and Willie, her oldest child, was positively flourishing. In the summer of 2009, Willie and his younger brother Eliot traveled to Maine to ski train with the Maine Winter Sports Club. On June 21, while roller skiing with a friend along the banks of a beautiful river, Willie was struck from behind by a speeding car. Mary’s beautiful son was killed instantly.
Mary wrote these words, “Through this time of unimaginable sorrow, God gently held us, loved us, and carried us. I’m not sure why it matters to me but the site of Willie’s death was as notable a site as one could wish for— accessible, identifiable, and beautiful. His crumpled body had landed in an area blanketed by blossoming wild alpine roses, overlooking a valley with a meandering stream and rolling green hills. I believe God sent his most gentle and loving angels to collect Willie’s soul and take him to heaven. And I believe Willie sent us a message that day through the roses— one of appreciation, love, gratitude, and a sense of apology for leaving.”
Mary believes the spiritual experiences she had following her boating accident gave her the ability to be the physical, emotional, and spiritual rock of support for her family after Willie’s death. Following his death, she taped the following creed to her refrigerator and grasped onto it for survival.
My Daily Creed
I believe God’s promises are true.
I believe heaven is real.
I believe nothing can separate me from God’s love.
I believe God has work for me to do.
I believe God will see me through and carry me when I cannot walk.
She writes: “I have spent more than ten years reflecting on my experiences and wondering what I am meant to do with them. In the process, I have continued to be what I have always been: a wife and mother, a spine surgeon, a scientist, a realist, and a cynic. Yet I am profoundly changed. I know that above all else, I am a child of God. I know that God loves and values each person on earth. I know that we are each only small threads in God’s glorious tapestry, but I also know that our choices and our actions are important and really do make a difference.”
“My life’s experiences would argue against the concepts of coincidence and luck. It would support the belief that there is only the guiding presence and plan of God, who uses his assortment of angels and messengers to lead us and communicate with us. There are millions of people in dire need of knowing God, receiving his love, experiencing his presence, and accepting the truth of his promises.”
“‘Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see’ (Hebrews 11:1). Faith allows us to fully embrace life, dissolves fear, and replaces worry with hope. It allows us to confidently walk with God into a future filled with joy, one that can become an extraordinary and amazing adventure.”
*Dr. Neal’s story and excerpts in this article are from her book To Heaven and Back, Waterbrook Press, 2012. Her story for Challenger was compiled by assistant editor Margaret Gayle.