For ten years I regarded myself as traveling on the highest spiritual path. Devoted to Buddhism, my life was permeated with disciplines that involved the use of psychic powers, yoga, channeling spirits, and magic. I found that Buddhism—more than New Age groups, Taoism, Hinduism, Yoga, and other religions and philosophies—offered answers to questions about the meaning of life.

PRECEPT UP ON PRECEPT

My whole intent in following the Buddhist path was to live a pure and holy life, and to contribute to building a more peaceful world. During my life as a Buddhist, I live d for periods of time with monks at the head monastery in California receiving more than 40 precepts or codes for moral conduct. The rules of moral conduct in Buddhism included the following:

• 5 lay precepts: no killing (vegetarianism), stealing, lying, drugs and intoxicants, sexual misconduct. This is the first stage of discipleship and commitment to achieving Buddhahood .
• 34 bodhisattva precepts: looking after the infirm, fasting six times a month, strict vegetarianism, bowing down to the masters and the Buddha images, promising to attend all sutra lectures, always wearing one’s robe and precepts ash, etc. This is the highest stage of commitment for a lay person in living a life towards Buddhahood. Living according to the precepts is designed to liberate a person from the bondage of the world and generate good karma needed to reach Nirvana through becoming a Buddha.
• 4 personal vows of moral conduct to guide in living a holy life.

Receiving these precepts was the highest achievement a layperson could obtain. Beyond that, one would need to become an ordained monk and receive 250 precepts of moral conduct. At initiation, I knelt in front of the Buddha image and recited my vows while a monk lit three stubs of incense attached to my inner forearm. These burns left permanent scars on my arms. I also mastered the recitation of esoteric mantras (magic chants) which claimed to enable the practitioner to develop psychic powers, purify negative spiritual energies in a 3000 mile radius, heal sicknesses, and subdue demons. To practice compassion towards all living beings and to achieve a higher level of spiritual purity and attainment, I followed a strict vegetarian diet and fasted half a day, six days each month.

PSYCHIC POWERS AND PRIDE

After seven years of being with the Buddhist masters, I was considered ready for further initiation into the esoteric practice of the forty-two hands and eyes (involves chanting, visualization of demonic beings, and holding the hands in various postures known as mudras).This was regarded as one of the highest Buddhist practices in which one learns to develop and refine one’s psychic abilities and command spiritual/demonic forces and beings to do his or her work, such as obtaining political success, protecting from illnesses, healing or destroying others, making crops grow, and so on. Again I went to live with the monks in California to learn this secret practice that was only transmitted in an oral tradition. The intent of learning this method was to contribute to building a more peaceful world.

As I became entrenched in the Buddhist lifestyle, I also became arrogant, smug, and overly confident with my spiritual practices. I believed that I alone could subdue demons and transcend the limits of the physical body which was considered to be a hindrance to spiritual purity and evolution. Contributing factors for my arrogance ranged from learning to transcend physical pain from many years of martial arts training and meditation that enabled me to slow down my heart rate and temporarily stop my breath, curb my desire for food and sleep, disregard my loving relationship with my wife, and continue to push my body even while depleted and deprived of rest and nutrition. I regularly circuit trained, cycled to get around, engaged strenuously in yoga, fasted, ate only vegetarian food, and strived to get by with five hours of sleep each night. I believed that the harder I pushed myself, the more spiritually pure, high, and holy I could become.

Furthermore, these practices led me to believe that I could even transcend death, especially through meditative practices. I believed that I could maneuver my way through any fear and obstacle—mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. Additionally, I desired to do Buddha’s work by setting the stage for the establishment of an accredited Buddhist school for elementary children. The merit obtained from good works would certainly improve the opportunity for achieving Buddhahood and entering nirvana. Thus, I willingly put my job and its benefits aside. While I had a mortgage to pay, and my wife was a stay-at-home mom, and despite opposition from my wife and family members, I entered the university to obtain a degree in education so I could teach in the Buddhist school. I believed that in performing good works, and by putting aside family and career, I was amassing a great deal of merit and blessings.

A SHATTERED LIFE

Six months before completing my education to become a teacher at the Buddhist school, my life shattered. I came down with debilitating arthritis which shook my entire world and everything that I had believed in as a Buddhist. Almost every joint in my body burned with pain—my feet, ankles, knees, lower back, neck, shoulders, hands and wrists. I couldn’t hold our baby daughter; I couldn’t brush my older daughter’s teeth at night; I couldn’t turn door knobs, and turning the ignition key in the car brought excruciating pain.

The arthritis was a rude awakening, because I had believed that my previous years of training in martial arts, yoga, meditation, vegetarianism, and mantras should have culminated in the ability to transcend pain and the limitations of the physical body—to attain spiritual elevation. But instead, the chronic pain of arthritis showed me how feeble I was, and how little dominion I had over my body, health, and destiny. Was the arthritis due to the self-denial, self-depletion, and deprivation of the body, and self-inflicted punishment which I practiced as I searched for spiritual purity and enlightenment? Perhaps it was. However, I believe the arthritis was the result of something greater than mere physical factors. The arthritis was due to God’s grace. I was now in God’s hands. He had humbled me.

SAVED BY GOD’S GRACE

After arthritis struck, and I became partially disabled, God’s grace brought my cousin Susan into my life. Susan had been a devoted Buddhist since childhood, but eventually turned to Christ because of the spiritual dead ends of Buddhism. She and her husband Michael shared their testimonies about Christ and the power of God with me. Gradually, the Word of God and the Holy Spirit opened my heart and mind to receive Christ and break away from the chains of Buddhism.

When I was in the midst of trouble and excruciating physical pain from the sudden onset of arthritis, I vigorously prayed to Buddha. I meditated, fasted, recited esoteric mantras and sutras, but with no results. Ten years of devotion to Buddha, and not even a hint of help came. But Jesus came to me and eased my physical pain. He brought the right people and information into my life which enabled me to get the arthritis under control.

When my world was shaken, I found that Buddha did not have the power to save me from my daily troubles nor from eternal damnation. Only Jesus Christ, the Son of God, has the power and authority to save others. This salvation is a priceless gift. My arthritis is a constant reminder of God’s sovereignty, dominion, authority, power, knowledge, guidance, and love in my life. I depend on Him solely, and despite the pain and weakness in my joints, He has met all of my daily needs. I am no longer self-empowered, but God-empowered. I praise the Lord Jesus because as each day goes by, I am learning to be “glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may work through me. Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses... For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Russell Fong is happily married and has two daughters ( 9 and 4 ) . Since becoming a Christian , Russell has worked as a high school teacher instead of teaching Buddhism. Reading the Bibl e during his quiet times has become the foundation of his new life and everyday God is teaching him something about himself and the world and how he should live his life to glorify God.