A Tumultuous Time

In 1998 my husband resigned as Senior Pastor of a Chinese American church where he had served for eight years. Towards the end of this period, conflict arose in the church, which resulted in my husband resigning. His decision to leave was extremely difficult, as the church had almost doubled in size during his tenure, and we had established close relationships with most of the congregation.

My husband’s resignation meant each member of our family had to make huge adjustments. Our oldest child would graduate from high school in the summer of 1999. Without knowing where my husband’s future ministry would be and what financial resources would be available, deciding where our first son should attend college became difficult. Our second son and our daughter would be attending eleventh and fifth grades respectively in the fall of 1999. It was important for our son to maintain continuity in academic progress and social relationships during his last two years of high school. Furthermore, I worked as a school psychologist in the San Diego Unified School District, and resigning from this post would mean leaving a job I loved and decreasing our family’s financial resources. During this tumultuous time, it would have been easy to lose our peace. However, God used these four years to teach each of us how to experience peace in Him amid uncertainty.

New Opportunity and Uncertainties

We took half a year to prayerfully explore several open doors for my husband’s ministry. Finally, he accepted an invitation to plant a suburban Chinese church on the island of Oahu, Hawaii. Since our seminary days, he had been interested in serving on a mission field. Planting a church in suburban Oahu was very similar to working on a mission field. So I agreed to move to Hawaii, knowing full well that I would not be able to find a school psychologist position there.

In February of that year, we visited Oahu and met with several Christians who would support my husband to plant the new church. I also met with a high-ranking special education administrator who informed me that at that time the state of Hawaii had only seven school psychologist positions, which were filled by educational psychologists. That meant that I would not be able to get a school psychologist position. However, he promised to help secure a job for me. We also learned that Hawaii’s education system ranked lowest in the country. Thus, we knew that even the best public schools would not be able to give our children a sound education.

Soon after arriving in Hawaii, I began to experience doubt, fear, anger, despair, and bitterness. I cried, blamed God and man, and thought I had reached a dead end. But while I was focusing on visible circumstances, God was working behind the scenes far more than I could see or understand. He intended to use this experience to teach me valuable lessons on faith and peace. I gradually learned to accept the hardships we experienced with peace because I firmly believed that it was God Who called my husband to serve in Hawaii at that time. I truly believed what I wrote to my oldest child on February 3, 1999, upon his receiving his first college acceptance letter. The following is an excerpt from my letter:

Sometimes obeying God’s will may seem to mean we have to give up something for God or “suffer some loss,” but when we are obedient in faith, God will see that we do not lose anything from our obedience to Him. Let us hold onto the following promise: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).

God Gave More Than We Asked For

During the two weeks before leaving the mainland, we were caught up in a whirlwind of activities. Our oldest son had graduated and left us for Maryland to participate as a Summer Biomedical Fellow at the National Institute of Health (NIH). The rest of us were packing to leave for Oahu, and we visited our extended family in Los Angeles. Finally, we arrived in Oahu on July 4, 1999.

Upon arrival on Oahu, we temporarily lived with an elderly church member. Our house was not ready and our belongings, shipped by sea transportation, had not arrived. What was most difficult was, soon after our arrival, my husband left for Suriname in South America for two weeks to train lay leaders there. Thus, my two youngest children and I were adjusting to living in a new environment without his support, while missing our oldest son who was a half a world away.

Knowing it would hurt our second son’s education and future, even if we enrolled him in the best public school on Oahu, we by faith put in an application for him to attend one of the best private schools in the United States. He was accepted by both Punahou and ‘Iolani schools. Punahou gave him almost $7,000 in financial aid because my husband’s salary was minimal, and I did not have a job. We sent him to Punahou, knowing that we had to come up with $3,000 for his tuition and another huge amount for our oldest son who would be attending Cornell University.

Our second son worked extremely hard to adjust to a particularly challenging yet enjoyable school. He tried his best to establish himself by making new friends and taking leadership positions in various volunteer activities. To our delight, two years later he followed in the footsteps of his older brother and chose to attend Cornell University. This illustrates that when we are obedient to God, we do not eventually lose anything from our obedience to Him.

Our youngest child was not challenged by the public school system, but that was the best we could do with our available resources at that time. She was given vocabulary words that she already learned while she was in second grade. To make the best use of her time, she devoured all the books in the Junior Section of two public libraries and learned to bake, crochet, and sew. Two years later, after I had obtained a school psychologist position, we had enough financial resources to transfer her to Punahou.

There were very few children my daughter’s age in the church my husband was planting, but she never complained about her social isolation. In January 2002, when my husband accepted another ministry position which required that we move from Hawaii, my daughter and I stayed behind so she could finish the school year. During this time, we grew close, sightseeing, sharing meals, and depending on each other. I confided in her—my 13-year-old daughter—many of my fears. Where should the two of us live if our house sold before the end of the school year? How could the two of us pack up everything? Would I be able to get a school psychologist position after we moved?

Very often my daughter acted like a mature adult, shouldering many responsibilities. For example, she did most of the strenuous work during our packing and moving sale. She was brave and strong, and her composure and support gave me peace. This daughter of mine grew up to be a caring, considerate person who can shoulder many responsibilities—no doubt due to the hardships and uncertainties she experienced as a young person. I always thank God for giving me such an understanding and supportive daughter.

An Unexpected Open Door

Living in Hawaii was a learning experience for all of us, and I tried hard to help our children adjust well to the new environment. For me, I also had to learn how to be useful in a church with just a handful of people. With very few coworkers, my husband and I were all things to all men.

The most difficult thing for me was as I expected—I could not find a school psychologist position on Oahu, and my income was needed to support the family. Finally, I was offered a one-year uncertified elementary school special education teacher position. That meant, if I wanted to maintain the position, I needed to take courses and pursue a teaching certificate, else I would be terminated at the year’s end. My income would be about half of what I used to make, but I took the job. One nice aspect of the job was that Punahou was at the foothill of Manoa Elementary where I would be working, so I could give our son a ride back and forth to school every day. Our house was only twenty miles from Punahou, but because of traffic congestion, it usually took me an hour each morning to make the trip.

The circumstances I was in shook my faith. I was in a bind. I did not want to study to get a teaching certificate. But if I didn’t, what would happen to my family after the year was over? I cried a lot and blamed my husband and the circumstances. I did not realize that God had deliberately brought me to this place. He would use my most hopeless circumstances to shape my character so that I would become a courageous person instrumental in the restoration of Hawaii’s broken education system.

I learned that since July 1994, the state of Hawaii had been under a Consent Decree because a student’s parents had sued the State of Hawaii in a federal district court for failing to provide adequate mental health services to students in need of these services. Since that time, the Department of Education had been forced by the Federal Monitor to make sweeping changes in the way it delivered special education services to students in Hawaii. One of the benchmark rulings was that by June 2000 an adequate number of school psychologists who possessed specialist’s certification needed to be employed. Suddenly, I saw an open door because I had a specialist’s certification!

An Agent of Change

I have always been a timid person, and it has never been my nature to rock the boat. However, for the sake of my future and the future of the special education program in Hawaii, I asked God for strength and courage so that I could become an agent of peace to make changes to a deplorable education system.

In December 1999, after doing extensive research, I wrote a letter to the Federal Monitor, the Education Superintendent, and over 30 legislators, urging them to make changes in the special education scene. I particularly emphasized the importance of hiring more qualified school psychologists. These officials responded positively to my letters. The Superintendent informed me that the legislators had approved the creation of 16 school psychologist positions. By July 2000, the state started by hiring 16—and later a total of 48—school psychologists. I was offered a school psychologist position by several school districts. I accepted an offer from the Kaneohe School District to supervise ten schools.

Once again, God proved that He is a faithful God, and we would not lose anything from our obedience to Him. I learned that obedience also means having the courage to take action to restore a broken education system. I was acting against my nature, and God gave me strength and peace.

God is always faithful to His promises. We experience His peace when we are in His will and maintain a close relationship with Him. The Bible says:

“You (God) will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you” (Isaiah 26:3).

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5–6).

Epilogue

I thoroughly enjoyed working as a school psychologist in Hawaii. Because school-based psychological services were so new in Hawaii, the needed expertise was not there. Because of my experience, I was able to provide much guidance and leadership, earning respect and applause from parents and educators. I resigned from the position in June 2002 with mixed emotions—sad to leave my “baby” behind after I had “induced” its birth and cared for it in the “Neonatal Intensive Care Unit,” but happy that the special education system was in a much better place than when I had arrived three years earlier.

I was also happy that the “new” church my husband helped start had grown from a handful of people to an average of 60 attendees each Sunday. Despite my weaknesses, God taught me and my family great faith lessons. And He gave me peace and made me an agent of change.

May all the honor and glory be given unto God.

Frances Chow is a graduate of Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, a minister’s wife, and a retired school psychologist and supervisor.