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Falling in Love with Jesus—Again!

“Do you have a boyfriend?” questioned her professor. Then, in a voice both firm and loving, Dr. Tan said, “Kasey, you need to protect yourself…and your purity. Purity is very important for a girl, and precious in God's sight.”

Who Knew?

Kasey had come to Dr. Tan's office to discuss her thesis. But now, she was being asked about her personal life! Had her behavior betrayed her dark secret? Could someone have told Dr. Tan about her affair? She didn't think her family or even her closest friends knew about this relationship.

Shocked that Dr. Tan had pushed the conversation beyond her thesis, Kasey lied, saying she did not have a boyfriend. Dr. Tan was a Christian and interested in the lives of all her Christian students. Kasey, an active student leader in a campus Christian club, knew she could not respond directly to Dr. Tan's statement about purity. So, with flushed face, she exited the office as quickly as possible.

Who Could She Tell?

This was Kasey's first time to be in love. He was her very first love! But Kasey knew from the outset that the affair was wrong—that she was choosing to leave Jesus Christ. Initially, she thought it would be just “for a while.” The first week of the eight-week relationship was the sweetest and warmest ever, and in the second and third weeks, Kasey was still feeling good—until she met with Dr. Tan to discuss her thesis!

Dr. Tan's gentle but serious warning went deep into Kasey's heart and mind. She knew that she should protect herself and end the relationship—and eventually she did. But the process was far more difficult than she expected. She never imagined how dark and painful it would be once she left Jesus. She experienced much humiliation, confusion, and fear. The man was someone who had been a very intricate part of her life—someone in the church! Kasey did not know where to seek help. How could she approach the church leaders and tell them that one of the ministry directors was having an affair with her?

What followed for Kasey was a long period of darkness. For three months, she cried night and day. When someone mentioned the man—even just his name—she would feel angry and frustrated. Hopeless about her future and thinking she may never get married at all, she could not trust anyone—especially not her church friends! Kasey felt desperate, even to the point of having suicidal thoughts.

Once—to temporarily escape the pain—she went to a pub with a classmate, under the guise of needing to relax. There, she allowed a man—a complete stranger—to hug and kiss her. Her classmate was surprised to see this happen and commented that Kasey was surprisingly “casual” with this man, and that it looked like she had lost her soul!

Who, but Jesus!

It just happened that Dr. Tan and her husband were joint-teaching a workshop about marriage and purity to university students. Kasey knew she had found the right counselor, so she shared her story with much pain and many tears. Dr. Tan listened with great concern and empathy, encouraging her to forgive the man and fall in love with Jesus again. Kasey repented before God, and her relationship with God was restored. But her life did not become easier afterwards.

During this time, Dr. Tan was like an angel from God to Kasey. Even after Kasey graduated from the university, she sent her text messages, emails, and small gifts. One gift was the book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Kasey read it from cover to cover within a few days, but the healing process took longer. But as Dr. Tan modeled Christ's love, Kasey began to heal, and she learned that God would never disappoint her; she could always cry out to Him for help.

This past Easter, Kasey publicly made the commitment to serve the Lord with her whole life. And today, Kasey confidently says that God has completely redeemed her life. She has walked through her pain with her Savior, and He has marvelously healed her. Even more wonderful, Kasey is falling in love with her Savior again, like never before!

Kasey's favorite song is a prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing of deliverance from sin, which you and I can receive in Christ.

My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who bore my pain;
Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace
And gave me life again;
Who crushed my curse of sinfulness
And clothed me in His light
And wrote His law of righteousness
With pow’r upon my heart.
My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who walks beside;
Who floods my weaknesses with strength
And causes fears to fly;
Whose ev'ry promise is enough
For ev’ry step I take,
Sustaining me with arms of love
And crowning me with grace.
My heart is filled with thankfulness
To Him who reigns above,
Whose wisdom is my perfect peace,
Whose ev'ry thought is love.
For ev'ry day I have on earth
Is given by the King;
So I will give my life, my all,
To love and follow Him.*

* My Heart is Filled with Thankfulness, Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend © 2003 Thankyou Music (Admin. by Capitol CMG Publishing)

(Kaili Zhang is Ministry Representative of International Students, Inc. of New Zealand. She is a senior lecturer in education and a freelance educational consultant.)

Article Link: http://ccmusa.org/read/read.aspx?id=chg20160304
To reuse online, please credit Challenger, Jul-Sep 2016. CCMUSA.