The following message was delivered at the wedding ceremony of Patrick Yew and Christina McDermott on March 20, 1999. The ceremony was held at First Presbyterian Church, Hollywood, CA.

When Patrick was still a boy, I tried to teach him the importance of choosing a good wife when he grew up. This was a difficult task, so I came up with the following idea. I said, "Patrick, if you can find a wife half as good as your mother, you will be doing very well."

What can I say about Patrick's choice today without trying to compare my wife with my daughter-in-law and in the process incurring wrath from both? Let me say to you, Patrick, "You have surpassed your parents' expectation by a mile." Congratulations, son.

To you Christina, I don't know what your parents instilled in you about the kind of husband you should marry. One thing is obvious, with Patrick standing at six foot two and weighing more than 200 pounds, you have more than you bargained for in a husband - at least in terms of size, weight, and height.

On the more serious side, I would like to share with you words about marriage from the Bible. May they be a reminder to you and to all of us of the type of union God intends marriage to be.

Mark 10:6-9 says, "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

This passage states three points I would like to share with you. We are first told that marriage is divine in its origin. Then the Bible states that marriage is exclusive in its design. Finally, marriage is described as a life-long commitment.

Marriage is indeed divine in its origin. After God created man, He saw that man was alone. He then created a woman to be his helper. God planned for man and woman to be companions.

In a few minutes, Patrick and Christina will pledge their vows to each other. Without minimizing the part that Patrick and Christina played in deciding to marry each other, I want to emphasize the fact that it is God who joins them as husband and wife.

Patrick and Christina, when life's challenges seem too overwhelming for you and you are tempted to take the easy way out, remember that there is a divine dimension to your marriage. Your marriage is not only your choice; it is also God's choice.

Marriage is also exclusive in its design. Before a woman and a man are married, they are two separate individuals with their own values, goals and plans. After they are married, they somehow must find a way to merge these divergent values, goals and plans.

The union of a husband and wife can be likened to soy sauce chicken. Before soy sauce chicken is made, the ingredients are separate. Soy sauce is dark, but the chicken is white. Soy sauce is liquid, but the chicken is solid. Their qualities are very different. Once the dish is prepared, the ingredients cannot be separated. When a person eats soy sauce chicken, he either says it tastes good or it doesn't. No one says, "the soy sauce is OK, but the chicken is no good."

This union you are building requires care, knowledge and love. In the Old Testament, when the Israelites were building the temple, they used the finest material and they built according to the exact specifications of God. In a similar way, when you are building this relationship, you too must use the finest material and exercise the utmost care.

You must encourage each other with your words. You must make every effort to consider each other's needs. You must do kind acts for one another. Finally, you must be willing to lend a helping hand and a listening ear.

The passage from Mark also tells us that marriage is a life-long commitment.

The Bible says, "What God has joined together, let man not separate." No man should try to separate a marriage. This includes the marriage partners themselves. One of the chief reasons so many marriages do not work out is because husbands and wives put their own happiness ahead of the happiness of their spouses. They put their personal pleasure, goals and fulfillment ahead of the commitment they make to their spouses. The belief that marriage is for life will help couples work out whatever problems they may face.

In closing, I would like to remind you, Patrick and Christina that:

Your union together is God's idea.

Your relationship with each other must be marked by oneness.

And your walk with each other should be life-long.

I am most confident that God who has begun a good work in you by allowing you to know each other for so many years and to have such a loving relationship will cause this relationship to grow and prosper as long as you both shall live.